By Aree Clarke, Photos By Lars Jendruschewitz

To most people, french fries are just the salty, crispy companion to chicken tenders. Here at Baked, we believe that french fries can provide a look into the inner workings of one’s soul. Fries come in all sorts of varieties, and we think there may be something valuable to learn about a person based on their preferred fry shape.

Disclaimer: potato science isn’t actually real, which means this article isn’t meant to be taken too seriously. If you want to know what your favorite french fry shape says about you, keep reading! 

1. Straight Cut

Straight cut fries are arguably the most classic french fry shape. They’re really easy to come by and universally liked. We would best describe straight cut fries as “non-offensive,” and we extend that descriptor to straight cut fry lovers. Straight cut fry lovers are very grounded and have no strong opinions about anything. They enjoy the simpler things in life and thrive in drama-free environments. If you love straight cut fries, chances are you live well within your comfort zone and rarely step outside of it. People who don’t know you well may be quick to label you as boring, but at the end of the day, you know exactly what you like, and who could fault you for that? 

2. Crinkle Cut Fries

Crinkle cut fries are the second most common fry shape and another classic. Unlike straight cut fries – which are almost always good – crinkle fries are pretty hit or miss. When they’re good, they’re really good, but when they’re bad, they’re really bad. Despite their inconsistency, crinkle cut fries have an incredibly dedicated fan base, making crinkle cut lovers the most loyal people you’ll ever meet. They’ll see you through good times and hard times, defending the people they love until their last breath. If you love crinkle cut fries, you’re probably quite stubborn and sometimes struggle to admit when you’re wrong. Nobody holds a grudge like a crinkle cut fry lover, but their heart is usually in the right place. To be loved by a crinkle cut lover means to be loved fiercely and without limits.

3. Curly Fries

Curly fries are one of the more interesting fry shapes. It’s as if the person who invented them had the personal mission to make it impossible for people to not play with their food. Simply put, curly fries are a lot of fun, and they get extra points for being one of the only fries to always come seasoned. People who like curly fries know how to have a good time. They keep great energy and are usually the supplier of positive vibes in any given situation. That being said, if curly fries are your fry shape of choice, you probably avoid conflict like the plague. Curly fry lovers are the kind of people to start cracking jokes the second a conversation gets even a little bit serious. If it means keeping the mood light, they may even put the feelings of others before their own. People-pleasing is in their veins, but all they want is to make people happy, which is commendable. So take care of yourself curly fry lovers, so you can keep being the life of the party! 

4. Waffle Fries

Despite being a less common fry shape, waffle fries are undeniably delicious. They cost more on average than other fries on our list, likely because of the larger surface area and complex shape. Waffle fries are hands down the bougiest fry shape, so we believe that waffle fry lovers have a more expensive taste. They may also have more adventurous palettes, given that the flat orientation of waffle fries makes them the perfect vehicle for toppings. Not to mention there is an extensive range of dipping sauces available at Chick-fil-A, the most famous hub of waffle fries. But being bougie comes at a high price, and it’s possible that a person willing to pay more money for fancier fries may find themselves spending money they don’t have on things that they don’t need. Potato science may not be real, but retail therapy sure is. So keep an eye on your wallet waffle fry lovers, but never ever settle for less!

5. Wedges

We are not accepting any arguments against potato wedges being considered french fries because this is our article, and what we say goes. That being said, potato wedge enjoyers are likely the oldest in their friend groups, and if not, they’re the most mature. Not a lot of restaurants have potato wedges these days, so if you’re really in the mood for some, you’re probably making them at home – and what’s more mature than making your fries? People whose favorite fry shape is wedges have a good head on their shoulders – they’re sensible and always give great advice. However, they’re sometimes sensible to the point of being a buzzkill, and they will never refrain from saying, “I told you so”. Wedge enjoyers keep the world from burning, but y’all need to lighten up.

6. Tater Tots

As with wedges, including tater tots on this list is not up for debate. We simply can’t talk about french fries without including these crispy, little pillows of potato-ey goodness. Tater tots are commonly eaten with breakfast, but tons of people choose to have them at lunch, on the side of their burgers. Therefore, tots are for those who like to bend the rules slightly. Similar to curly fry enjoyers, tater tot lovers are really fun. They’re likely the comedians of their friend group and the youngest or most immature. If your favorite fry shape is the tot, others may not always take you as seriously as you want them to. However, your youthful, oddball energy rejuvenates the people around you and makes them feel young. 

We’ve reached the end of our journey with french fry personality archetypes, and we hope you found our assessments accurate. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what your preferred fry shape is – all fry shapes are great in our book!