Your Halloween Horoscope: Candy Edition

by Margaret McCann

Everyone knows horoscopes dictate every aspect of our lives. This, of course, does not end with Halloween candy. We all have our favorites, but you can’t argue with astrology.

Aries: Trolli Gummy Worms

Energetic, fearless, and competitive, Aries scream Trollis to us. When we think “Aries” we think confident. What’s more bold than a sour gummy worm? 

Taurus: M&Ms

Taurus to us means stubborn, stuck in the classics. What’s a more classic Halloween candy than M&M’s? Taurus’s resolute and grounded side keeps them attached to the known things in life — and a trusty M&M never fails — just like Taurus.

Gemini: Sour Patch Watermelon

Sour. Sweet. Gone. Enough said. We all know that Gemini has a tough outward persona, but when you look deeper, they’re super sweet and caring. Take this whole “two-sided” gemini thing, but make it positive — everyone loves them, even though they deny it, just like Sour Patch Watermelon.

Cancer: Kit Kats

Cancer. The fragile, but loved zodiac. What describes Cancer better than a Kit Kat? We see Cancer as giving and kind, but extremely emotional. Kit Kats are a fan favorite, but crumble under pressure. See the parallels? 

Leo: Snickers

Snickers are such a cult classic, just like Leo. Charismatic and loved by all, Leo has a magnetic personality people just can’t turn away from. They also know that they’re “it”, but are totally justified in that thinking. Leos give us major Snickers vibes, they just know everyone loves them.

Virgo: Jolly Rancher

Reliable, responsible, and (at times) uptight, Virgo is such a jolly rancher. You can always rely on a Jolly Rancher to be there when you need one, but you never really know if you’re actually going to enjoy it. That being said, Virgo is extremely hardworking and gets the job done — just like a Jolly Rancher.

Libra: Laffy Taffy

Laffy Taffys, to us, are so underrated — just like Libras. Laffy Taffys give us major shy, non-confrontational, and indecisive vibes. These traits are eerily similar to dear Libra, but we also must mention how social they are. Libra is an underappreciated social butterfly, just like the unexpected goodness of a Laffy Taffy.

Scorpio: Twizzlers

Scorpio is charismatic, loyal, and organized. It is for these reasons that Scorpio is totally a Twizzler. They’ll never fail you, but they also give us jealous vibes (Red Vines vs. Twizzlers definitely gets a Scorpio pretty heated). 

Sagittarius: Nerds

Sagittarius is super friendly, curious, and fun, but also extremely disorganized and unfocused. Nerds are just like Sagittarius, in that they’re super enjoyable, but also all over the place. Sagittarius is so energetic, which shows their direct similarity to Nerds.

Capricorn: Hershey Bar

Capricorn is very determined, hardworking, and loyal, just like a trusty Hershey Bar. At the same time, Capricorn is also overly-serious and stubborn. To us, there is nothing more classic (one may say plain) than a Hershey Bar. However, both Capricorn and a Hershey Bar share a high level of dependability. 

Aquarius: Butterfinger

Mysterious, creative, and independent, Aquarius is a textbook Butterfinger. What other Halloween candy is similar to a Butterfinger? Aquarius is unique and a mystery to all, which is why we know that they’re Butterfingers. 

Pisces: Reeses 

When we think of Pisces, we think devotion. Which candy had been more devoted to Halloween trick-or-treating than a Reeses? Reeses scream Pisces to us, also because of their strength and, unfortunately, laziness. Yes, Reeses have been a part of the Halloween tradition for so long, but will they ever make anything new?

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